Polygamy

So, I did a bit of reading online - both for plural marriages and against - and I'm not convinced that the Bible specifically speaks against it, but I can see where it suggests that it's not a good idea.  I believe that the principle of monogamy is pretty consistent through out the Bible.  I choose to continue with my monogamist marriage.  Not that I have any choice.  My dh has no desire to take on a second wife.  Thank goodness!  lol

Right or wrong, I think it's a grey area and each individual will have to check their conscience with God.  And for now, I'm going to enjoy watching the new season of Sister Wives.  Makes for good tv and that's what life is all about, right???

LOL

Until next time,

Lovely Lioness

Facebook and Grief

Most of you know that I lost a son in March of 2004.

Grief is so cyclical and can hit you hard, before you even know it.

In our church's circle there was a baby girl born much earlier than expected, but was doing fine at first.  (Her grandparents and aunts attend my church, but her immediate family does not).  A couple of weeks ago, she was hospitalized for bowel issues.  Diagnosed with something that required surgery to fix.  She was unstable and so they couldn't do surgery.  She was starting to stabilize when they got BAD news today.  A test determined that half her brain was dead and pushing on the other half.  I got a text from my best friend with the prayer chain message.  It didn't register.  I just texted back, "ok".

Later in the afternoon I was sitting with the kids doing a lapbook and watching a children's program for a review.  Somehow I got onto Facebook and saw all the updates and requests for prayer for this little girl.  I read over and over again about the brain damage.  Suddenly it clicked.  I dialed my best friend's number.  It rang and rang and rang.  Finally I hung up.  I barely hung up and the phone rang.  She had just missed my call. She asked what I wanted and I stuttered and stammered and started to sob.

Me: I can't . ...  I don't know how....
Friend: What...
Me: I want to be strong... I thought I was better... I want to help...
Friend: It's about that baby, right?
Me: Yeah.
Friend: You don't want any more updates.
Me: No.
Friend: I am not surprised to receive this call.  Every time I went to update this prayer request, I cringed telling you.  I'm sorry.  I know this is hard for you.
Me: I'm taking a Facebook break.
Friend: Just block the people talking about it.
Me: I'd have to block everyone.  (And I started listing the people I'd seen updating.)
Friend: Wow, yeah, you would have to block everyone.

My son died due to brain damage.  He was starved of oxygen at birth.  We prayed for a miracle.  Our church people prayed for a miracle.  We prayed and begged and tried not to bargain with God for his life.

I think they are dumb to continue to pray for a miracle.  If that baby continues to live, if they keep that baby on machines.... They are dumb.  They are selfish.  They are mean and cruel.

(Please know this is the grief talking.  I don't really feel this way, not really.)

Maybe God will just do this miracle to prove me wrong.  If so, good for Him and good for them.  But why couldn't He do that miracle for me?  Why didn't I get to keep my firstborn son?


There are so many tangents my mind goes when I reach this point.  My life and what it would be like now had my baby lived.  And whether he fully recovered or whether he lived disabled and to what severity.  My marriage and how it survived and what if it hadn't of survived.  The parents of this baby . . . will they make it with their marriage intact?  What is my role in this situation? I don't even know the parents personally.  And not often, but sometimes, what did I do wrong to loose my baby?

For now, I'll leave the questions and end this post here.

Until next time,

The Lovely Lioness

Here We Go Again

Seriously blowing off steam. You know my husband had an inappropriate texting, phone and photo relationship with a woman almost two years ago, the girl he lost his virginity to at that. Trust comes really hard after that.

He has been acting very odd lately. Being secretive with his phone. Going through my phone. Even accessing my Facebook account. Well when someone is acting all suspicious red flags go off! So, I looked at his Facebook last night. He had a message from someone he had just "friended" Her message: "hello, dont know if you will remember me but it is CXXXXi FXXXXX from Lake PXXXXX... I just had to see if you were on here and wow.. lol I hope you resp". His response: "yep its me and i do remember u"

I told someone last month that I really didn't care anymore. I don't want to be paranoid. I am a great person and I am confident in that. Problem is, I think it is starting again.... I will not do it again. I haven't mentioned this to anyone but... I am now.

More on Narcissism

When you said your vows, what were you expecting? I suspect if you were like most women, you thought you were entering a partnership. You would enjoy shared power, right?

I bet you’ve discovered something quite different, though. I bet he likes to have power over you, isn’t that so? And to ensure he achieves and maintains this, he might well use emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, and even sexual abuse, too.

The thing is, you might not even realize that your relationship with your narcissistic spouse is filled with these forms of abuse. You might feel badly or experience emotional pain much of the time, but still not understand why. You might well believe your narcissistic spouse when he tells you how you are the problem, and if you just changed and did these things he wanted, well, life would be grand.

For him, that is.

He keeps emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, and sexual abuse in his marital toolbox because they work for him. Meanwhile, you believe that the two of you have a partnership.

Sorry, but a relationship with a narcissist is not about partnership. Those suffering from unhealthy levels of narcissism don’t know what that means. They are self centered. They lack empathy. And more than anything else, they are grandiose. Whether successful or not, they feel entitled to have what they want when they want it.

Rather like the two-year-old.

The narcissistic throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want, too. The difference is, they scream more than how they hate you; those suffering from unhealthy levels of narcissism are inclined to scream obscenities and other hurtful things. All of them help your self esteem to plunge, plus make the anxiety butterflies swirl, wouldn’t you agree?

So, how many of the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder must your narcissistic spouse meet in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for you to be the victim of his narcissism—which could be fueling his abuse plus perhaps alcoholism or drug addiction?

Sadly, too often, these all come together in one neatly wrapped package.

But back to the question I originally posed; I really can’t answer it.

What I will say, though, is don’t keep you eyes shut because in the beginning, things were so good between the two of you. You might have believed you had finally met your white knight. You might have been so enamored with him because of the whirlwind romance that included flowers, candlelight dinners, outrageously expensive gifts considering the time you’d been together, and romantic getaways that also included great sex.

No, don’t keep thinking if you can only get it right, or do all the things he asks, those days will probably return.

I rather hate to tell you this, but you’re probably wrong. Oh, he might act that way now and then to keep you hooked in and believing you’re about to rediscover Camelot, but he is only seducing you—again.

A narcissist is like a leopard; he can not change his spots. Okay, he might be able to change if he really wanted to do so. But if you are in love with a narcissist, you need to understand that you’ll likely be seeking counseling on how to leave a narcissist long before he’s inclined to seek help on how to alleviate himself of his narcissistic tendencies.

If you have a narcissistic husband, listen very carefully: Narcissists seduce you with their charm, the romance, and the great sex. Once they have you hooked, things change—and not for the good.

In fact, is the great sex still so great? Or instead, is it about him and his needs and wants? Also, you might feel he has to give a great performance, and you’re always expected to commend him for a job well done, too. And rather than feeling closer to him, instead, have you felt you’ve become more and more merely an object to him?

There is even a chance the great sex has switched over into sexual abuse. Perhaps the transition has been so gradual, however, that you haven’t actually seen the truth about what was happening—or where you have ended up as a result. But if you stop and think about your sexual relationship with your narcissistic spouse, you might realize you’ve been doing things that don’t appeal to you sexually, but only to him. In fact, they might make you feel degraded.

He not only doesn’t bring flowers anymore, but it is probably worse than that. You’d realize that if you got real about your marriage.

Yes, it is probably hardly a relationship in the sense that you define the word. Are you always worrying about what might please or displease him? And to ensure you do neither, do you do things against your personal values?

You probably want to avoid his narcissistic rage. And again, you hope if you’ll only do as he wants, things will be like they were in the early days—when you held hands and made love in a romantic haze.

Again, it is time to get real. That was an act to suck you in. Now, though, if he is walkingaround being his self centered and grandiose self, engaging in emotional abuse and verbal abuse that causes your self worth to slip away daily, he is nonetheless likely being the man he will continue to be.

If you are codependent, you might well be able to somehow survive the emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse. You might keep telling yourself that the sexual abuse is not sexual abuse because you actually are okay with what he asks of you—as kinky as it perhaps has become.

I suspect you might be shut down and out of touch with your feelings, however. You also might be taking pride in your ability to cope with things you shouldn’t have to cope with anyway. And if that is the case, realize you are not the first and last woman to make this discovery. Frankly, I myself have been there; I took pride in my martyrdom. But really, what’s the sense in that?

I decided I didn’t like being in a relationship with a narcissist. I also knew I never wanted to be in a relationship with one again, though I suspect I met one or two along the path on my way to recovery from codependency.

Your life is yours to live as you please; you have to make your own choices. I suspect, though, that you give your life—and your narcissistic spouse—a good hard look. You might realize you’ve been bonded to a fantasy that was probably never more than that. Meanwhile, you stay stuck loving a narcissist while he serves up a mixture of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse—and some great times, too—to keep you hooked in and doing exactly what he pleases.

Why should you expect differently? Remember, he is self centered, he is self absorbed, and he lacks empathy. And because of his grandiosity, he feels entitled to do as he pleases. In turn, everyone else is here to serve him and meet his needs.

They must be kept in line and under his thumb.

Yes, these are the spots of the narcissist. And no, they probably will not change. So really, is spending your life loving a narcissist the best use of both your love and your time?

I hope your moving your head back and forth

A little, A lot, Who the fuck cares?

Cashew here.
I am a little pissed. Nope. take that back. I am totally pissed. You tell me that you have to exhibit that you are severely brought down with a learning disability in order for testing from a school of your community who is responsible for testing for learning disabilities? Talk to the insurance companies. They will tell you they won't cover testing for certain things.... It's your schools responsibility.

What the fuck?

Sounds like a catch 22 to me.

damned if you do. damned if you don't.

I don't want a frickin' diagnosis to get her things she don't need. But she does need help getting around the disability.

And yes, see what we put up with from schools in our area?

I feel the need to pursue this more.


I totally intend to!

I am madder than a yellow jacket wasp nest!

look out. Gloves are coming off.

Cashew.
Over and out!

Dumb Ass

I want to feel like a woman again. I am tired of lack of sex and blah stupid dumb man sex when and if he chooses. I am not the narcissistic drunk. No. I am the caregiver to everyone and I work too. Give me a break. Men turn their heads my way still and I am in my forties now. Why should I feel unattractive just because he is "depressed". Everyone would be "depressed" if they drank 6 - 7 beers a night and only though about themselves all the time.

The universe revolves around DH. He doesn't feel appreciated by an employer that is all that is important: Children aren't starving, parents aren't abandoning children, children aren't being raped and abused, people aren't losing their homes in storms and fires. No that must be another world somewhere. Get a fucking grip. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Count your blessings you dumbass!!!!!!!!

Done.

No, not quite done!

If "he" weren't such a sniveling stupid mean ass schmuck he wouldn't have gotten laid off/FIRED!!!!! And he might have a better self esteem. When you are an ass, you get treated like an ass. Simple and easy. Yes, I will call the sheriff anytime at all I feel threatened or intimidated when you are in a drunken rage. Yes I will. You should be the one wanting to protect us but no, the sheriff will protect us from you.

Narcississtic People

DSM IV Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

• has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

• preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

• believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

• requires excessive admiration

• has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

• is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

• lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

• is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

• shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

  
  

  Childhood developmental factors and parenting behaviors that may contribute to the disorder include:

  • An oversensitive temperament at birth

  • Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents

  • Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem

  • Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback

  • Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents

  • Severe emotional abuse in childhood

  • Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or talents by adults

  • Learning manipulative behaviors from parents

Sister Wives

I have been watching the first two seasons of Sister Wives (TLC's show on polygamy).  My husband is kinda sick of me watching episode after episode on my computer.  He thinks it's dumb to have more than one wife.  And although I agree with my dh, I find the life style sooooooo intriguing!

Who wouldn't want to have 3 or 4 or 5 best friends!?!?!  Someone else to keep your kids so you could work.  Someone to make meals if you hated to make meals.  Someone else to fight with your dh.  Someone to be on your side.  Playmates for your kids.  What a large homeschool I would have!

Now, I'm too selfish for that lifestyle.  I like having my husband to myself.  I can't imagine that on top of the fire department, on top of his church service, on top of his normal job, on top of his part time job . . . I can't imagine my husband having to divide what time is left between 3 or 4 wives, including me!  Yikes, the man would never sleep.  Or if he did, it wouldn't be in my bed EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.

So, then being a Bible believing Christian, my thoughts turn to: what does the Bible say about polygamy?  Honestly, I haven't looked yet.  My dh says there is no DIRECT commandment against it, but it is strongly suggested against.

I plan to look into it more.  Come back here to see what I've discovered.

Until next time,

The Lovely Lioness

Once a cheater

Once a cheater… always a cheater. Right? Isn’t that the saying? My husband cheated on me. With a woman he had had a prior relationship with and a sexual relationship with. Before our third anniversary too. And with a woman he lost his virginity with, I suspect. He blames the affair on me. I fight with him too much. Always when he has been drinking too (which by the way is every single night for the last two years). I cry over it almost every night and he gets mad at me saying “It’s not gonna work.” He says. YOU RUINED US!!!! Just how the hell do you get over something like that? How? Please tell me! I delete the pictures of his erect stimulated penis I saw in his phone he sent this other woman. Him playing with himself while thinking of HER? In MY bathtub? Texting and calling her at 3 am? 537 times in a 30 day perios. Three hours of phone conversation in that same month! On Christmas??? New Years?? Just how am I supposed to get over this? He shows me no compassion or consideration? And has never truly shown remorse. Just two angry apologies and many “I won’t do it again” or “I learn my lesson”. Oh that makes it okay doesn’t it. Yeah like I can ever believe that. Oh I learned my lesson too, I cannot trust this man I entrusted with my heart. I was in a horrible accident this summer and he showed no compassion. “What you think I never broke a bone?” His reaction. I still had to do it all all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, AFTER WORK!!!! With 12 breaks in my arm and a broken leg. I went back to work in casts after only three weeks. Against the doctors orders. I was in the hospital for four days and when he finally arrived to visit he would stay a mere 15 to 20 minutes (if that) then do on his drunken backroad drive. Oh but four months after his knee surgery he still …. Whatever. I am the one with the problems he says. I am to believe that I cause all the issues in this marriage. I want sex. I want a love life! I want to feel valuable, important and loved. I want to feel special. I am willing to forgive him if only he PRETEND he wants me! I truly love him that is why it hurts so much, and that I believe is my mistake. He treats me like shit all the time. Just someone to blame all the problems in the world on and if I ever have something I need to talk about… OH HEAVEN FORBID! Just get over it right? How do you think he would react if I did what he did? Think he could get over it so easy? If I betrayed his trust? Even just a fraction of the betrayal he violated!!!!!

What happened?

Where did the ladies of TSTHTF go????

It's awfully, terribly quiet around here.  Well, I'll tell you.

Two of us had babies!

Then there were all our summer activities and travels.

And now, school started!

There is always an excuse.

Hopefully we'll be back again soon.

I know life is throwing us a lot of curve balls this fall.  Hopefully someone will come and write about them!

Modesty

This is an issue that is really starting to bother me.  In church this morning, there were a number girls who were not dressed properly, in my opinion.  Their skirts / dresses were too short; their tops showed off too much.  Their pants were too tight.  My young daughters look up to these teen and tween girls and want to follow their example.  I hate having to fight not only against society but also against the "norm" in our church.

I'm not saying I want our girls to look dowdy or ugly.  I want them to dress nicely, adequately covered without having their clothing tight fitting. There are nice modest clothing out there.  I find acceptable items for my girls are Wal-Mart and secondhand stores all the time.

What is unacceptable in my opinion:

• spaghetti straps, but they are allowed at my discretion (provided the dress / shirt itself covers most of the chest and back.)
• short shorts
• skirts more than a couple inches above the knee
• low-cut tops
• backless or almost backless shirts
• low-rise (super low rise) pants
• tube-tops
• tops that show your bra or straps (such as in the case of spaghetti straps)  I qualify this one because I have a couple of bras that have straps that run very close to my neck; I'd have to almost wear a turtle neck or mock turtle neck shirt to cover them.
• tops or bottoms that are tight enough to show every curve, underwear lines, etc.

I have more than one reason for this rant today!  One I have daughters.  And two I have sons who will grow up and have to deal with this issue.  Thirdly, these girls in church that are wearing this inappropriate clothing are the daughters of leaders in our church.

My question to them is: What is your purpose in wearing such items?  Does it bring glory to God?  Does it attract the attention of the boys and the men?  Is that what we are supposed to be doing?

How do you approach this issue?  With the parents?  The youth leaders? The pastor and/or his wife?  The individual girl?

For me, I think to start I'm going to bring the issue up with our pastor's wife and see how she would suggest handling the situation.  I'm also going to ask her if she thinks I'm over reacting.  I could be.

What's considered modest in your home?  How do you (would you) handle the immodesty of others in your church / community group?

Until next time,

The Lovely Lioness

Funnies

Funnies

A lot of things to do and no time to do it

The shit that hit the fan...No... let me rephrase this... The shit that's gonna hit the fan.

We have been trying to work with the kids about doing chores to earn things that they want to do. I am going to be known as "total BITCH mama" for the next oh lets see... 3 months?

I have taken on ALL of the responsibility in the house. The kids are on "strike" and so that's fine, but come hell over high water they better not even ask me for a stick of gum.

One of the kids were supposed to go to a sleep over tonight; and as soon as it is an appropriate time to call the parent to let them know that this child will not be attending it will be done. I am tired of having my kids back me into a corner. I had to RSVP for the dang thing back on Tuesday. At least I was smart enough to explain in a nice manner that if my child does not do what she needs to she would not be coming. She backed me into a corner by telling me she would do all of her chores for the week and that she would be on her best behavior. HUH! Hey does taking a clothes hanger, bending it until it breaks, then bending a piece into 2 pieces, then thrashing it at mom count for good behavior? I am just checking because she stated she would be on her best behavior and I am SURE she would not want that done to her! So momma will be putting the foot down and calling her off from the party she was to attend after school today.

And it's not just her. It seems that EVERYONE has taken off on strike. Another child of mine begged for extra chores to make up points for her sleep over that was to take place Saturday to Sunday. She did the extra chores, but not the regular ones. She will not be attending.

We have an issue with hair. We have extremely long hair and no one seems to know how to keep it up. One child has an issue because I refuse to purchase anymore conditioner. One bottle usually holds me over a couple of months, but for this child she thinks that she can use ONLY conditioner and no shampoo. This left her hair looking really greasy and like she never washes it. It does not help with well water! SOOOO.... Momma got a bug up her butt last night and took every hair product out of the bathroom EXCEPT shampoo and MOMMA washed and scrubbed everyone's head last night. Momma did not care how loud, long, or who heard the screaming. Momma then sat and brushed everyone's hair and made sure it all was taken care of. The screaming only hurt my ears until the lovely mp3 player with earbuds came into play. Oh and Momma has made appointments for hair cuts and everyone's hair will be chopped at least shoulder length.

Yes, Momma struck on Wednesday also. Momma ticked off a child who thought that it was okay to rush through homework, not show work, and to write so bad I could not even read it. This was pre-school writing people! Momma got angry and made said child sit at the table and re-write the homework (without the calculator- I am positive that if they ask to see work they wanna see you use the calculator that the good Lord gave you) until ALL work was shown and that ALL of the answers would be easy to be found and that it was legible. Three re-writes and 2 hours later, Homework was about 95% better. Bad Momma!

With the last paragraph in mind, momma will be going to the home school store and purchasing books for the summer. My dear wonderful delightful children will be so happy to hear and see that I have come up with a homeschooling program for summer :O) I will need to go this weekend to pick these items up. I am looking for basic language arts, math, and we will be going to the library to choose books to read and then they will have book reports to write every week. Hey! they will have all the time in the world with their toys locked up and no chores they are required to do, right?

So the agenda for today is packed. While I would sooo enjoy going and hiding in a blanket and catching the much needed sleep I so desire at this point, with only having a very long weekend with the kids home and DH here up my tush and around the corner as well. Today's agenda; making a shopping list, planning meals for the next week, mopping and sweeping(and vaccuming) every room, cleaning the kids rooms; making their beds, taking toys out and sorting through them and locking them up, catching up 3 loads of laundry; 2 loads of which need to be hung outside; and starting to re-organize the garage so I can get things out for the yard sale tomorrow. Not to mention I need to run 4 towns over and pick up items for the yard sale after 4PM today as well.

I foresee a lot of changes coming up and into play for my family. Some changes they will not like. Some changes I will not like. I will be a total and complete bear to be around. I have already told my oldest daughter that I love her but I loathe what she does and how she acts. I am hoping a summer with nothing to do will bring her around. I am considering taking her out of school and away from her friends and homeschooling anyways, but really this summer will tell all.

Thanks for listen to me rant and rave.

Da Cashew

We have been working on the blog...

This is a test to see if this tweets

About the Cashew...

I like being a cheapskate; trying to get a good deal, to have fun, laugh it up a bit. I would love to have a chance to get drunk off my tush and have people around me that will laugh with me and I can spill my guts to because I can't control my mouth when I start drinking.

I am avidly stuck to the computer, ya know that's where all my friends live. I would love to be brave enough to do and say things that are on my mind. Yes I pee in the shower; I have found I have better hair when I only wash it 2-3 times a week. I put my used plates on the floor for the animals to clean up before washing them in the dishwasher.

I am a night owl. I can be a hoot with no sleep; when my moodiness does not take over. I like "me" time and I try to stash as much me time as I possibly can.

I like all kinds of people. I like people who are serious, who are fun to be around, who have different thoughts than I do, that are going through the same things I am or have been. I cannot stand to be around people who are not considerate and walk all over people. I hate to find friends who "pretend" to be friends, then do something against what you believe in then turn the whole thing over that it's your fault.

When I find out what people are like I get judgmental when they hurt me and I refuse to forgive them easily; with sometimes as much as 20 years passing before forgiving.

I wish I would have listened more to those in my life that made sense out of life. I wish I could have been more open to "keeping my options" open and living my life more fuller than what it was.

I can make scrambled eggs, french toast, and bacon really well, but don't dare step into my kitchen and ask me to make fried eggs over easy or omelets.

I feel embarrassed with no clothing on; and I often feel ackward having sex with the windows open or without the radio or TV on to hinder the noise.

I often tell my kids they cannot do things I do because I hate myself for the things they wish they could do that I currently do!

Da Cashew....

It was easier being single. . .

but I wouldn’t say that is better.

It was easier being single because I didn’t have to think of others in the same way as I do now.  I could make decisions about when to go to bed, where to eat supper and when to buy groceries.

It was easier being single because I didn’t have to share my things with others in the same way as I do now.  My computer was MINE.  My desk was MINE.  My vehicle was MINE.  MINE. MINE. MINE.

It was easier being single because I only had dishes and laundry and clean up for ONE.  ME.  I didn’t have to spend hours in the kitchen or at the sink, unless I wanted to be there.  I didn’t have to fold every single item, but I did anyway, because it was easy.  I could take out a project, work on it, and leave it there.  Because it was just me.

I could wear what I wanted to bed.  I could shower in the morning or whenever I pleased.  I could watch chick flicks and cry.  I could go to ladies’ nights out or in.

BUT WAS IT BETTER?????

I don’t think so.  Because . . .

I would have become a very very selfish person, more selfish than I am today.  I would not love the way I love.  I would not be in the community as I am now in the community.  I would not be a part of my church as I am a part of my church.  I would not have become the perosn God wanted me to become.

Being married is better because there is someone there to warm my bed.  There is a shoulder to cry on.  There is a ready friend with open arms. 

There are children to make me smile.  Children love to learn and in their learning they teach me so very much.  Children love life and teach me to love life as well.

Being married is better because I don’t have to eat out alone.  There is someone to share my dessert with when I ordered too much supper.  Being married makes the work in the kitchen worth the time and the effort.

Being married introduced me to coffee.  Oh how I love coffee.  I doubt that I would have tried and enjoyed it if I had never gotten married.

Being married causes me to grow and think and develop.  My brain is better because of my marriage.  (Some days I think my brain is mush, but I know that I know more, because of my relationships with my husband and children and community.)

Being married causes to get out in the community and yet allows me to be home where I love to be.  Being married has balanced me more than I ever thought possible.

I have so far to go.  Today has been a rough day; I am a very angry and loud person.  I am mean to those around (and those closest to) me.  I need even more balance and more development and more learning.  Without my husband, I don’t know that I would see these areas of needed growth as easily or as quickly.

Being single may have been easier, but being married is much better.

I love Aprons and their many uses

I found this today in my Google reader.  I’ve used my apron for many similar uses.  I need more aprons.

A Frugal Alternative to Paper Products

To most people, vintage aprons are a either fashion statement, or we wear them to protect our clothes while cooking and working. However, have you ever thought about these uses? Consider using your apron to...

1. Remove hot cookie sheets from the oven
2. Wipe away your children’s tears
3. Dry the inside of a freshly washed glass
4. Carry in fresh herbs from the garden
5. Cover your hair when it starts to drizzle
6. Dust the furniture
7. Wipe up kitchen drips and spills
8. Allow your kids run and hide underneath it
9. Clean the bathroom mirror
10. As a prayer tent like Susannah Wesley

 

Posted by e-Mom at Susannah's {Kitchen} Aprons, a retro-chic vintage apron e-store.

 

Until next time,

The Lovely Lioness

Sex is a mind thing for men too

One of my biggest pregnancy complaints there last two pregnancies is the yeast infections I get and can’t seem to get rid of no matter what I try.  I’ve tried the Canesten and the natural methods.  I’ve tried probiotic and other things; everything I can think of short of not eating carbs.  I need the carbs for energy.

Anyway, these infections have an impact on our sex life!  I am a sex-aholic when I’m pregnant (and maybe most of the other time too, but I don’t know for sure).  I can. not. get. enough!  Because we don’t wanna pass this yeast back and forth between the two of us we try to get creative in our love making.

All this is a preface for the following:

Last night in one of our creative “sessions” as I had just discovered (confirmed) that the yeast had once again returned, my husband went limp.  I kinda figured he’d just given up and may not even want me to continue what I was doing, but I persevered and he got back into action and we “finished”.  When we were snuggling after he says, “The real thing is soooo much better.”  I had to agree.

Then this morning I asked him about what had happened; I said, “It seemed like you gave up last night.”  He re-iterated what he’d said before.  It’s just not as fun.  His mind was not in the game.

So it’s not just us ladies that have to mentally prepare for sexual activity.  If his mind is not in it, his body won’t be either.  As frustrating at this can be, having this bit of knowledge is comforting too.

On to my second point of this post:

WHAT DO WE DO????  How can I get rid of this thing?  How do we have intercourse without passing the yeast infection between us?  How often during pregnancy can I use a OTC treatment?  I’m not in agony or itching like crazy.  It’s like the infection is just kinda sitting there under the surface, ready to explode into full battle mode if I turn my back for a moment and let down my guard and defence.

Funnies